Sharing the Love: How To Achieve Equitable Date Planning

Planning dates is one of the most exciting ventures in a relationship. However, it can feel uneven when one partner takes over all the date planning with the other partner in the passenger seat. Both partners will feel valued and heard when sharing date-planning responsibilities.

Open Communication

Open communication is the most important factor when achieving equitable date planning in a relationship. Usually, one person may be the planner while the other is the follower. This toxic trend can lead to resentment on both ends. The planner may feel annoyed over the burden of having to generate all the date ideas while the follower could be intimidated from contributing their suggestions in fear they will disrupt the planner’s flow.

Openly discuss one another’s interests and preferences in dating. Do you prefer date nights in or going out? What are your favorite places to frequent? What activities make you most happy? Remember to honor one another’s differences. Take turns with which person plans the date night.

Create a Date Jar

Are you both having trouble thinking of your next date night? Create a date jar to choose a date idea from if both of you are stuck on thinking of possibilities for the next outing. This requires some pre-planning, but it will be fruitful in the long term.

Take an empty mason jar or clean out a jar that used to have sauce or jelly in it. Cut out small pieces of paper, write one date idea down on each piece, and fold them up individually. Shake the jar and stir the papers with your hand before selecting one.

To start, have each partner contribute three to five data ideas for the jar. Take turns on who selects from the jar when it’s date night. Take turns on who is responsible for placing a new date idea into the jar once a paper is removed.

Bonus: Fun Date Ideas

You can add some or all of these fun date ideas to your date night jar:

• Go to a new restaurant that opened up recently.
• See a musical or play at the local theater.
• Browse a museum.
• Attend a fair (Renaissance, fall festival, summer festival, etcetera).
• Enjoy the local boardwalk.
• Spend the day at a local amusement park.
• Go fishing or crabbing.
• Game night or movie night at home.
• Movie night with dinner as an outing.
• An online casino night by logging on to NetBet.

Not every couple has the same combined interests, so feel free to add any date night ideas we missed into your jar! It’s all about how you and your significant other connect, so incorporate agreed-upon ideas.

Set a Date Planning Day

Take at least one day each month to plan out when and where your upcoming dates will take place. Not every couple will have the same schedule to go on dates as frequently as others. Once-a-month dates or twice-a-month dates are optimal, but both your schedules only allow for quarterly dates, then that’s fine, too.

Making the effort to do date planning will give you both something to look forward to during your busy schedules. The most important factor is maintaining consistency with date planning and making it a priority in your relationship so you both have the time, energy, and desire to connect.

Don’t Forget To Mix It Up!

Let’s face it. Going on the same type of dates can get stale after a while. It’s not that you don’t enjoy it together. Just engaging in a new and exciting activity could help you learn more about each other and open up another world of unforeseen memories. New activities can spark a deeper bond as you learn something new about each other.

For example, if you two aren’t artists, it might be insightful to attend a paint-and-sip fundraising event in your area. If you both love playing card and board games, try a new one instead.